Location: Armuchee, GA
Time - 8:39am Eastern Daylight Time
Temperature: 67 degrees F (19 C)
Conditions: Clear, humid
Forecast: Partly cloudy today and tomorrow. Highs in the 80s, lows in the 60s
Last month at MCK
This was posted a month or so ago by Jodi Bailey and I thought some of you would get a kick out of it. I certainly did!
So you want to be a Musher: ..
1. Burn a $100 bill—right now. Preferably while standing outside in freezing temps. No freezing temps, then just burn the money and move on to step 2
2. Visit your local butcher and pay to sit in the walk-in freezer for a couple of hours.
3. Soak your gloves and begin storing them in your freezer. Don’t worry you can defrost them in your pants and work with bare hands for at least ½ hour daily in freezing temps.
4. Fasten a tight, wide-rubberband around the top half of your head before you go to bed each night.
5. If you wear glasses, begin wearing them with glue smeared on the lenses.
6. Slam your thumb in a car door. Don’t go see a doctor.
7. Find the nearest ice rink and walk across the ice several times holding two leaping, lunging, screaming, 80 lb. Sleddogs by the back of their harnesses.
8. Take a large amount, like 40 pounds, of meat and defrost it in your living room or kitchen every day.
9. Buy a new pair of gloves and immediately throw one of them away.
10. Plan a romantic vacation that you know you can never take.
11. Go to your local feed and gear store and just give them your credit card.
12. Fill a blender with ice, hit the pulse button and let the spray blast your face. Leave the ice on your face until it melts. Let it drip into your clothes. Do this in a walk-in freezer if possible.
13. Dress up in as many clothes as you can and then proceed to take them off because you have to go to the bathroom. Again do this in the walk in freezer if possible.
14. Do all your chores outside in the cold and dark. Acceptable chores include carrying 2 full five gallon buckets of water, carrying 2 full five gallon buckets of poop, carrying 2 full five gallon buckets of cooked rice and fish, chopping 50 pound frozen solid blocks of meat into even neat little snack sized chunks. Spill anything and you must start over.
15. Eat only foods that are already frozen solid or can be cooked with just boiling water.
16. Have at least one conversation daily with each of your friends about poop, diet, and digestion.
Repeat all of the above every day for a month, if your OK with it then you just might make it as a musher.
Below are some additions that others added to Jodi’s post.
17. Don’t forget to put a 5-gallon bucket of fat blend just inside the door so you can trip over it all winter. Your guests will enjoy the pleasant, um, scent when they walk in the door.
18. What about being dragged head first into knee deep snow so cold it takes your breath away, start to get up, only to be dragged down again by the same bunch of wild banshees. Repeat 5 times.
