May 08 2010
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This is a typical Disney live-action film of the 70’s. The comedy is thin at times (you almost question a laugh-track to kick in at any moment to say “This is supposed to be laughable”), but it has its moments. Don Knotts does well in his role, but he a limited underused. Mild, it’s a honorable arrangement for a family to use time together one rainy Saturday afternoon.
Now on to the DVD transfer. It’s dark. They didn’t try to shipshape it up digitally or anything. It looks like they fair obsolete a VHS tape and threw it on a DVD. The quality of this film makes me a exiguous leery about buying the next plot they throw out. While I admire to inspect these classics finally reach to DVD, I detest to notice them wasted on a junky transfer. If you have this one on VHS, don’t ruin your money to upgrade. And yes, it’s in fullscreen with no extras other than the “trailer” (a 30 second television set) .
I give up. Disney DVD releases several titles on DVD this week, some in widescreen format with crisp, sparkling unique transfers, while dumping others on us in bowdlerized full-screen prints. Unfortunately, the one title I most wanted, 1976’s “No Deposit, No Return,” belongs to the latter category. As a result, Disney DVD lost a sale. No widescreen = no sale, no matter how distinguished I want the film. Period.
For undiscriminating types who don’t care if they’re ripped-off or not, “No Deposit, No Return” is a typical ’70’s-era Disney trifle with a grand cast of veterans (David Niven, Darren McGavin, Don Knotts, Barbara Feldon, Herschel Bernardi, Charles Martin Smith and Vic Tayback) pulling out all the stops to enliven a mediocre script that, incidentally, contains one of the biggest space holes I’ve ever seen in a Disney movie (befriend to this later) . Fortunately, director Norman Tokar (a Disney regular) and the screenwriters throw everything in but the kitchen sink to compose a freewheeling comedy that has more than its comely fraction of laughs. So even though “No Deposit…” pales in comparison to titanic Disney laugh-fests like “The Fancy Bug” and “The World’s Greatest Athlete,” it is calm spellbinding and will believe the kids’ interest for all of its 112 minutes.
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How’s this for a contrived status? Jay and Tracy Osborne (Brad Savage and Kim Richards) are dreadful itsy-bitsy rich kids who assist a typically Disneyesque boarding school while their magazine editor mother (Feldon) globe-trots on business. Enraged that they will be spending Easter vacation with her, they are crushed when Mom cancels and whisks the pair off (along with their pet skunk (!) Duster) to Los Angeles to expend the week with their despised Grandfather Osborne (Niven), who likes them about as powerful as they like him (meaning, not at all) . At the same time, Duke (McGavin) and Bert (Knotts), a couple of luckless but kindhearted safecrackers, are trying to crack the capable at L.A. International Airport, but botch the job and situation off the horror. Meanwhile, Duster gets loose and causes pandemonium in the airport. In the confusion, Jay, Tracy, Duster, Duke and Bert extinguish up in the same taxi, tailed by Grandfather Osborne in his limo. When Jay and Tracy figure out that Duke and Bert are harmless crooks, they con them into thinking they’re homeless and letting them exercise the night. The kids then work up a bogus kidnapping plot and mail a ransom sign to Grandfather Osborne (who has his butler keeping an perceive on them from across the street) and con Duke and Bert into going along with it, figuring they’ll split the money, and Jay and Tracy will go to Hong Kong to join their mother while Duke and Bert pay off the menacing loan shark (Tayback) they’re in debt to (which is why they tried cracking the top-notch in the first plot) . Whew!
What follows is “Ransom of Red Chief” territory, with Osborne refusing to pay the ransom and the quartet continually dropping the ransom amount. It isn’t until someone tips off the local police (represented by Bernardi and his by-the-book rookie partner Smith) that Grandfather Osborne has to launch playing the game and making an attempt to procure the kids assist. What follows is scene-after-scene of typical ’70’s era Disney slapstick, including the Disney equivalent of the classic “Bullitt” and “French Connection” scoot scenes (played for laughs, of course), as the entire cast chases each other around half of L.A. and the entire harbor dwelling in a freewheeling slapstick car prance. Of course, everything ends in predictably warmhearted fashion.
Actually, were it not for the cast, “No Deposit, No Return” would be D.O.A. But Knotts is typically hilarious, McGavin a perfect straight man for Knotts, Bernardi and Smith bicker amusingly and Richards and Savage (straight off their celebrated roles in “Speed to Witch Mountain” and “The Apple Dumpling Gang”) are cute and professional, unlike some of the other cloying non-actor child stars of the era. As for Niven, he is an absolute delight and plays wonderfully off his sophisticated image to earn some suited laughs. Feldon shows up slow and scores points as a mother who leaves a shrimp bit to be desired.
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As for the production, the opening cartoon-credits sequence and theme music are rather dreary compared to the bouncy themes of “The North Avenue Irregulars” and the Kurt Russell college comedies. And, like all other Disney films of the era, it plays like a live-action cartoon in which the reality of the era plays no allotment whatsoever (Watergate? Vietnam? Jimmy who? ) It’s basically by-the-numbers stuff, though admittedly racy.
As for the location hole? Okay, here goes: If Grandfather Osborne is a millionaire and doesn’t want the kids around, and Jay and Tracy would rather go to Hong Kong than consume time with him, then why not unprejudiced ask Grandfather Osborne for the money so they can go to Hong Kong and be with their mother? If he doesn’t want to be bothered with them, then why would he say no? It’s simple: then there would be no movie.
I fair don’t salvage it. Lousy titles like “Cat From Outer Place” and “Hot Lead and Frosty Feet” come by widescreen treatment, while gigantic films like “Darby O’Gill” and “Follow Me Boys” languish in full-screen prints. Even “No Deposit, No Return” deserves better. So, the verdict: “No Deposit, No Return” gets **1/2 while the DVD treatment rates *. As I said before, I give up.
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